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There is a plethora of photographs from my childhood where I'm holding a Canon ZR80 Mini DV Camcorder. It was my first camera and I was obsessed, my eyes perpetually glued to the tiny LCD screen on the flip panel. Throughout my childhood I ended up collecting boxes of mini dv tapes - family trips, "films" I'd forced my friends and family to act in, and abstract footage pleasing to the eye and mind of a 10 year old. I was behind the camera long before I was ever in front of one. Despite this, my love for acting continued to grow and its development unintentionally induced a gradual fading away of any and all filmmaking desires. And yet, after a decade+ hiatus I have taken up filmmaking again with a particular interest in celluloid film, perhaps because the process of filming for me is innately nostalgic, deeply rooted in my childhood memories of image capturing. Thus this 8mm page, a collection of 8mm musings meant to mean nothing at all.

To my loved ones-
I'd like to take this moment to formally apologize in advance for any future camera being inched towards your face. I sincerely hope you enjoyed your peaceful decade of clear peripheral vision, where you'd be hard-pressed to see my amorphous figure behind a congregation of trees, or hear the sound of rolling film, or feel the warmth of my breath as I whisper "act natural, pretend I'm not here."

From the bottom of my twisted heart, my sincerest apologies. All good things do not last.






12 year old Joanna
12 year old me

Orwo UN54 


Regular 8mm film (Orwo UN54 B&W) shot on a Bolex K2 and developed by me in my bathtub in a shoddy but very rewarding operation involving buckets, instant coffee, washing soda, and vitamin c.


Orwo UN54 (Positive)

The same Orwo B&W film but with the colour inverted to create a positive image.


Kodak 50D (Super 8)

Originally a test roll to test out my "new" Canon514 camera but was pleasantly surprised that the footage wasn't god awful, so I did a little edit. Technically still a test roll.


Summer Met Me

An excerpt from Summer, an ongoing project part of a tetrology of the seasons. Shot on super8.


*Selected for the online exhibition Tune into Green presented by Diorama Room.


Sabrina

Sabrina on 8mm Fomapan R-100.


Federico

Fed on 8mm Fomapan R-100.


What Once Was

An exploration of caregiving. Shot on super8. 


Carmilla

A day in the life of a vampire. 100D 8mm Ektachrome.


Sweet Super 60

Mother’s birthday on (super) 16mm. 
                                          TO A SENSITIVE SOUL: I, a cynic, sensitive soul? By Diana’s thigh! That insult ought to be washed away with blood, if blood ever washed away anything in this world. No, sensitive soul, I am no cynic, I was a man; my brain was a theater in which plays of all genres were staged, sacred plays, austere dramas, sentimental works, gay comedies, topsy-turvy farces, morality plays, burlesque — pure pandemonium, sensitive soul, a tumult of things people in which you might see everything, from the rose of Smyrna to the rue growing in your own backyard, from Cleopatra’s magnificent couch to the corner of the beach where a beggar shivers away the night. It was host to thoughts of the most various castes and complexions. Nor was it the sole province of the eagle and the hummingbird; the slug’s and the toad’s habitats were represented there as well. Take back those words, then, sensitive soul, give your nerves a shake, clean off your eyeglasses — sometimes it’s all in the eyeglasses — and let us do away with this thicket flower once and for all. — Machado de Assis, The Posthumous Memoirs of Brás Cubas